“Grab them by the p***y”, Donald Trump said; words heard around the world. There isn’t a person alive that doesn’t agree with the fact that this election has been a three ring circus. Bring on the clowns!!! Well they’re here too, out for the debates and out in the streets harassing people; this is some eff’d up ‘ish!!! What the hell happened, is this real life, can it get any worse? I’ve personally learned not to say out loud “it can’t get any worse” because I’ve found it usually can in weird and wily ways. Basically don’t test the powers that be, they don’t appreciate it.
So the word was said and the backlash ensued. Was anyone shocked that Trump could exhibit this kind of behavior???? I don’t think most people were shocked except for the housewife who decides to keep her head in the sand with her own husband’s transgressions. Let’s take a lookesy at who this man is shall we? He’s a billionaire (although he’s filed more bankruptcy in his life), businessman, reality tv star, new Yorker who owns/owned businesses including modeling agencies and the Miss Universe pageant. The very nature of some of this work not only denigrates females to the basic level of being judged by their looks and numbering them, but puts him in a position of power and judge. It puts him in the position to meet a lot of beautiful young women as a person who can affect their future. He’s been known to cheat on his wife, at least clear reports of cheating on Ivana. Regardless of party affiliation, he’s a power hungry, money hungry, fame hungry overbearing egotistical man.
The word, gosh that word. This word seems to cause a reaction in females that only one other word can and it begins with a c . . . and you’ll be happy to know I did some research on it!! The word itself means cat and comes from the German word “puus”. It also was referenced as originating from other languages such as the Dutch “poes”, Danish “pus”, Irish “puisin”; all making their appearances around the 16th century. There is absolutely no event or time marker that shows where this word took a strange turn in today’s slang; let’s just say the menfolk seemed to like it and it stuck. The reaction from females may be the sound of the word, the way men use it in a strong derogatory way, or the fact that it actually means “cat” or a small furry weak object. Any way you shake a tail feather at it, it’s demeaning and this is where the war begins on this particular use of it. The very vulgarity of it could trigger a females fear of her dark side. We all have a light and dark side and if you’ve never delved into the latter, you would be offended by anyone and anything that triggers that. This word certainly does as it’s used harshly, typically by men, and refers to a vulnerable female area. The word can literally rip through a female and if she is afraid of her own shadow she’ll react. I tested it on my mother as instead of telling her what just happened I showed her the video. I put my phone in front of her and watched her lean back, take a deep breath, and puff up as the word was spoken.
Whether Trump actually grabbed a woman by her private region or not hasn’t been proven but it’s the insinuation that he can and without permission. As a woman living in North America, every day you leave your house there is a possible threat of assault, harassment, and/or belittling. Women are used to living like this so we take precautions and learn to pay attention. We don’t walk around at night alone, keep a key in our hand while walking to our car, stay in groups, don’t dress “too sexy” at work, don’t act “too friendly” with co-workers or bosses. However, then you have a man like this, a man with money and power who could possibly hold what many consider the most powerful position in North America. The blatant and arrogant use of the word was a symbol to every female that our safety is at risk and the safety of our daughters, mothers, nieces, cousins, friends, co-workers.
I’ll share a personal story that happened just this past weekend. I was invited to an event, a party for a fashion app at a beautiful location with some bigwigs slated to be there; the mayor of the town, other politico’s, “movers and shakers” if you will. I abhor these types of events, it’s a show and you have a few minutes with people to “sell” your latest project or idea. However, I’m about to launch a big project and felt it was necessary. There’s nothing natural about it and many of the people that go are all marketing their businesses or ideas. I hadn’t met the owners of this app prior to going and was going alone. I prepared for it the way I would any event; google’d the business name, checked out their website/app and other forms of social media, chose my outfit, did my hair and makeup and went on my way. I arrived much later than it began as I was invited last minute and I had other business to attend to. As I walked in the door a seemingly drunk man stumbled towards me slurring “hello”, I darted him my signature look of “don’t eff with me” and kept walking; danger zone number 1. I walked through the door, it was fairly crowded, and there seemed to be some small presentation or raffle going on with one of my models as the hostess. So I stopped for a minute and a man swooped up to me and said “you look like you stepped off of a movie set!!” Remember I’m in the event now doing business, have NO idea who he is, turned to him and said “are you one of the people with this event?” I’m basically trying to determine just how rude I can be to him without getting kicked out. “Yes I’m one of the creators of the app”, interesting. He proceeds to ask me who I am, who I’m with, and if I want a drink. I say yes knowing I’m not actually going to drink it as he runs off to get it knowing that he could ruffie it, danger zone 2. He’s a bit manic in a salesy businessman way saying hello to everyone and as I begin speaking to another man about his business first man interrupts with said drink. As he walks away to greet other people he says to the other man “I’m going to flirt with this girl now” referring to me and I respond with “wow how did I get so lucky?” while I’m looking at his wedding ring. The night goes on, the first drunk guy finds me and although he’s too drunk to even have a conversation won’t leave me alone so I tell him to have a good night and walk away; danger zone 3. The event ends and I go downstairs to eat with my model and her fiancée. During our dinner the other creator of the app sits down next to me, interrupting our dinner, introduces himself to me and tells me I should be a model and model for the app. I refrain from laughing, tell him I did model internationally, I don’t anymore unless there’s an obscene amount of money involved, and I model scout now along with my new project which I hand him a card. He invites me to be involved in their next event which as I find out is at a mutual friends’ business; danger zone 4. After dinner we are leaving the restaurant and run into the creators again and the married man leans into me and says “how and when can I see you in a more intimate setting?” I say “it was nice to meet you”, don’t point out the ring . . . yet, and walk away; danger zone 5. As i’m outside saying goodby to my friends, 1st drunk man who has now changed into some sort of white leisure suit sits down alone; there’s nobody around but us, him, and the valet guy. I ask my friend to stay a moment while the valet retrieves my car, danger zone 5.
I was out for 3 hours, this all happened in 3 hours!! These men had a little bit of money, drove nice cars, are getting a business off the ground and felt entitled enough to think that I was there for their pleasure. I was presenting as a business woman, not someone who is there for a beauty competition. Yet because of who they are coupled with the power or money they feel they have I was in a dangerous position. I left slightly annoyed but that only lasted five minutes and shook it off. The fear and or anger this behavior brings up in females is in relation to how much we fear for our safety. I’ve heard people say over the years in reference to famous celebrities who have committed horrible acts that it doesn’t affect their craft or how we support them, really? In 1977 43-year-old Writer/Director Roman Polanski was arrested and charged with five offenses against Samantha Gailey a 13-year-old girl with rape by the use of perversion, drugs, sodomy, lewd and lascivious acts, and furnishing a controlled substance to a minor. Gailey’s mother gave Polanski permission to photograph the girl alone as part of his work. Some of his most famous films include Rosemary’s Baby, Macbeth, Chinatown, and The Pianist; many people consider him a genius. Polanski was charged and learned that he was likely to receive a prison sentence when he fled to France and hasn’t returned.
Three different examples of men exerting their use of power over a female. Which is the most harmful, does it matter? Political parties aside, the trickle down effect of a man who feels at ease with abusing his power so easily and frequently will affect everyone. The leader of any business you walk into sets the tone for the business; this will set the tone for the nation. This will color how he interacts with other nations, how our sons and daughters experience childhood, each other, and authority, who works for him, where the money is distributed. A gorilla mentality is what the United States of America will be known for more than anything. Put the “P” word aside for a moment, put your knee jerk reaction aside and think about the far reaching affects this can have. If you completely agree with his politics but don’t agree with the remark or the intention behind the remark the power is now with you. The power of the people is what voting is about, I hear people commenting on the fact that they don’t want to vote as it would be the lesser of two evils. Do we even really matter with the electoral votes considered? All of these decisions are both personal and have far reaching effects if no further than you’re family, thoughtful consideration is the theme of 2016.
Written by Kristen Carla www.facebook.com/kristencarla
Kodawari Studios 3965 S. Henderson Blvd, Suite C, Tampa, Fl 33629