July 30 , 2016 / 5 minutes, 28 seconds

I LOVE YOU I HATE YOU

Author: Annette K. Scott

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How do you feel after seeing the title of this blog?  It’s designed to stir up emotions, quite possibly the same emotions that you are faced with from the title.  There seems to be a rampant issue that nobody is talking about in the world at large; social media, yoga, and alike.  This is the aversion of all emotions that are seen as negative, especially anger.  People don’t want anyone to know they’re having a really bad day and fkng angry about it; when people do they either seem to jump on the bandwagon immediately with support or many of them stay far away.  Why is it that we are calculatingly only showing the more pleasant or softer emotions?  Where did this odd trend arise?   

Anger is probably the strongest emotion among the emotions some of them being sadness, joy, and fear.  It’s the most in your face emotion and could be the most difficult to deal with both for the person experiencing and anyone on the outside.  Behind it’s intensity is always a great deal of pain, anger is the end result or the face of deep pain.  Why do people try to hide this from the world or try to hide it on social media for fear of being an angry leper?  You see posts on social media that allude to anger, typically a meme with some expression of letting it go.  Or the quotes about someone being wronged or mistreated by another and that it’s their problem and not ours.  Then there is a large gap between that and worldwide violence; if any emotion is going to cause that gap anger will.  So the societal norm is either stuff it down or let loose; is this really the healthy processing of something that will always arise? 

We all want to appear as if nothing bothers us and certainly don’t want to feel the anger and most definitely don’t want others seeing us as angry.  Understandably so that if a person isn’t present in their body and able to address all emotions they’re going to veer away from anyone who expresses those that make them uncomfortable.  However, for the person that is experiencing that pain that’s causing the emotions how can they process it, get it out without stuffing it down, self-medicating, or lashing out in a way that’s harmful to themselves or others?  Is that even possible?  Yoga, self-isolation, cutting oneself off from the trigger, physical activity, laughing, and confrontation all have the potential to help.  Let’s be real and admit that when you’re in the throes of anger a yoga class doesn’t help.  Have you ever tried it?  You wobble in balance postures, forget to breath, don’t hear the prompts, sweat more, and get annoyed.  Yoga and meditation are for the end time of the anger flame and for those in between moments.  If you can avoid the trigger or the person from the point of combat, it’s always helpful but often times you have to be in relation to them again.  You can drop into the anger, feel it fully and process it via physical activity.  It’s not just the movement that might help; the exercise could exhaust it out of you and the endorphins that are released during the process helps to ease to volatility of the emotion.  Watch a funny movie, it’s difficult to hold on to the anger while laughing; it creates a different neural process that releases the anger.  Lastly, and this isn’t for the faint of heart, is confrontation.  This does not mean attack, compassionately and strongly defending yourself.  Confrontation also garners bad press on the human front, people either avoid it or become aggressive.  Assertively standing your ground is your right, whether the other person hears it and makes the necessary changes is their choice. 

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